You’re too drunk to take the subway home… you should just stay over.”
(As you innocently hide his wallet so he can’t grab a cab either. No. I’ve never done this. I swear.)
#2. AM AFRAID
“I feel really uncomfortable walking home by myself? Walk me home, please?”
#3. I LOVE YOU
“I am deeply in love with you, and hoping we will reconcile in the afterglow of this s*xual encounter.”
#4. I NO LONGER LOVE YOU
“I’m totally over you now, so it’s absolutely fine if we have s*x.”
#5. LETS CUD DLE
“Come over and we’ll just cud dle. Adults can just cud dle and it won’t go any further.”
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