NO MAN HAS JUST ONE WOMAN. HOW TRUE IS THAT?

American-born Nigerian Queen Ahneva Adeniyi Adegeye, one of the wives of King Sunny Ade had something interesting to say in a recent interview with Encomium magazine.

The American born queen says that no man has one woman.
“Once you see any man, you see polygamy. No African man has one wife. I don’t care if he’s an indigenous African American or African Caribbean; it’s in their nature to spread love across and to have more than one woman they love. Polygamy only puts a stamp on it to make legal. Most men have a wife, a mistress and a concubine. So, in a way, polygamy is everywhere in Africa and all over the world.”

King Sunny Ade who is widely known all over the world for his music was nominated twice for Grammy awards in the 80’s. He officially has seven beautiful wives and is rumoured to have a lot of concubines.

9 BITTER TRUTHS THAT YOU MAY ENCOUNTER IN RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships have its ups and downs, but one good thing about anything that has its ups and downs is that you come off it a better and stronger person; it can be compared to a staircase; climbing stairs of a giant building might be complicated and difficult and even tiring but it’s one of the best forms of exercises for the legs.
When you enter a relationship, there are certain truths about relationships that you should be prepared for, and that’s what this article is all about.
9 bitter truths about relationships.

1. NOT EVERY RELATIONSHIP WOULD LEAD TO MARRIAGE
You can’t marry everybody you date and the possibility of marrying the first person that you date is always very slim and this is one bitter truth about relationships. Many enter some relationships with the hope that it might lead to marriage but it hardly ever does. Some relationships are meant to shape you for the real deal but not every person you meet is the real deal.

2. NOT EVERYONE WHO SAYS I LOVE YOU MEANS IT
‘I love you’ are the three most bastardised words you might ever hear; not everyone would love you; some people might say they love you but they don’t and just after a few days or weeks of dating they get bored of the whole thing and would want to quit. Sometimes lust could be judged to be love and you should be ready for that just in case it happens.

3. NOT ALL RELATIONSHIPS WOULD HAVE A HAPPY ENDING
Life is no Cinderella story,  sometimes it could end sadly like Titanic and sometimes it wouldn’t; relationships are unpredictable and the fact that it started out well doesn’t mean it would always end well; sometimes the gallops along the way could be unbearable.

4. SOME PEOPLE WOULD COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR WHAT THEY CAN GET
Not everyone enters a relationship because they are in love, some would enter for what they can get from you; some people are naturally jerks. Some enter relationships for sex, money and a whole lot of other factors that might not include love.

5. YOU CAN’T BE PERFECT FOR EVERYONE     
You can’t be compatible with everyone; some of your relationships could be like a tug of war, some would have a lot of arguments and misunderstanding and in some you would be that perfect person. The fact that your relationship partner might actually love you or you love that person doesn’t mean you would be perfect for each other; sometimes, it wouldn’t just pan out well.

6. HEARTBREAKS ARE A LIKELY SCENARIO
The fact that all relationship you enter wouldn’t work out well means that heartbreaks isn’t all that inevitable. Humans are imperfect and we all make mistakes but sometimes those mistakes could prove costly and it might just lead to a heart breaking experience.

7. RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T ALL A BED OF ROSES
People make that mistake of entering a relationship and feel it would just work out well so easy. Relationship takes work, what you give is what you would get; if you put in little efforts you would get same. Don’t expect a relationship to work on its own; you need to mould it, you need to shape it.

8. A GOOD LOOKING PARTNER DOESN’T GUARANTEE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP
People enter relationships with someone just because of beauty and that’s a dangerous mistake. Beauty is deceptive; the love that beauty brings is fleeting, if you base your relationship only on this then you have successfully sealed a relationship that might be on the verge of ending before it starts.

9. MONEY CAN’T REALLY BUY LOVE    
Money can buy a whole lot of things but true love isn’t really one of those. It can only fetch you temporary love but true love is a genuine feeling from the heart and it doesn’t need money to make it happen. Any love bought with money might fade away especially when there is no money.

These nine truths are bitter but they are true as far as relationships are concerned

HOW HARD IS IT TO STOP A BAD HABIT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

A habit is something someone does repeatedly; it’s a pattern of life someone has become accustomed to. There are good habits and bad habits not just in your personal life but in your relationship as well.
A bad habit can ruin your relationship; it might not ruin it immediately but slowly and surely it would. For one to have a bad habit, it means that habit has been part of the person’s life for a long time and slowing down such a habit would take a lot.

Nagging is a bad habit as far as relationship is concerned and if you enter a relationship with such a habit only a partner with extraordinary and great tolerance level can still enjoy or rather endure being in that relationship with you.

The huge question is: “how hard is it to stop a bad habit that you have in a relationship?” A bad habit is quite hard to stop but can only be stopped depending on how much you really want to stop it and the level of efforts you put in to stop it. The major problem is the lack of desire; it’s so conflicting that people want to stop a habit they know is bad but they don’t have the desire to make that happen.
The mind is everything as far as habits are concerned; if you believe that stopping that bad habit wouldn’t be possible then it’s already impossible but if you position your mind-set to believe that a bad habit can be stopped then that is it.

If you love your partner then you should be ready to do anything to make that person happy, and ending that bad habit once and for all is the best thing that you can do.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN PDA AS A SIGN OF LOVE?

Hello everyone, hope you’re having a great Sunday? As you know this is another Sunday where we discuss major topics and issues that surround love and relationship on our Sunday column, Sunday Love Special
PDA which stands for public display of affection is seen as a sign of love by many why a few see it as just a show off.
Some couple sometimes have quarrels over PDA because one might believe in PDA as an important measure of love while others might be more reserved about it.

Not everyone feels comfortable with public display of affection; while others may deem it as necessary, some others are shy or probably reserved about publicly display of love.
So the big question is “Is PDA a sign of love?” That and many more would be the topic for discussion on today’s Sunday Love Special column.

Drama
In discussing this issue, I believe it is appropriate to cover it comprehensively because love means different things to different people. There are people who believe in public display of affection as a way of showing love, and there are those who do not think it is that much of a big deal. You also have to consider the fact that not everyone has the boldness it takes to kiss a man/woman publicly; some of us are so shy they wouldn’t even consider the idea…So it pretty much depends on who’s involved.

Personally, though I think publicly showing one’s partner love, like kissing, hugging, or even holding hands with them on the streets can go a long way in strengthening a relationship because first of all, it sends a strong message across to onlookers that really, you two are proud of one another, and happy to be together so potential ‘homewreckers’ are warned- off. It also gives both parties a sense of security in the relationship; and the impression that they’re valued well enough to be shown off to the world like that because only someone who truly cares about you would get down like that. This doesn’t mean PDA is the only way to prove or express love/one’s feelings cos like I said, some people are extroverted/shy and may not be comfortable with kissing in public, but if you can do it, and have a partner who shares the same sentiments, it’s a good way to keep love alive.

Shawn
Is PDA a sign of love? This to me is one of those questions you treat with mixed reactions. PDA is a sign of love most definitely and PDA also wouldn’t hold sway in many situations. There are many angles you can look at the matter of PDA from and I’d shed more light on them in a nutshell.
When one is in love, you don’t care what the world thinks; you show that you love your partner whether you are alone indoors or out with friends or taking a walk on the street; love comes to the fore of the relationship, it overrides you and your partner and you don’t mind; with this you can say PDA is a sign of love in that relationship because the moment that partner stops having the affection to show PDA then it could be said that the relationship is on the decline; so in this context PDA is a huge sign of love.

Also, some people who have multiple partners are quite restricted to showing PDA, they don’t feel comfortable with PDA because they wouldn’t want to ruin their other relationships; with this, a lady or a man can easily spot that their partner is hiding things or doesn’t have enough affection for them to show PDA.

PDA means care, it means affection, it shows attraction; I wouldn’t show PDA to a lady that I don’t have something for and most men out there are like that. Also, it also doesn’t mean you should pull the trigger to end a relationship because your partner doesn’t show PDA; some people are quite old-fashioned, they feel shy and reluctant to show PDA but they still are crazy about their partner. So in a situation like this, you shouldn’t use PDA as the judge to your partner’s actual feelings and emotion, but you can teach your partner to warm up to PDA rather than complain. Everyone’s exposure levels are quite different and this affects their PDA.

In a few cases I’ve also seen situations where people show PDA without really having much love or affection. These kinds of ladies can show PDA to Tom, Harry, James and the lot; these kinds of men would show PDA to Lilian, Gloria, Vivian and a host of others without minding; so if you want to base PDA totally as a sign of love then you might actually lose out.
I think PDA is a sign of love but PDA isn’t enough, PDA isn’t everything, but it is a sign of love.
What’s your take on PDA?

CAN A RELATIONSHIP SURVIVE IF THE MAN IS BROKE?

Hello people welcome to another segment of Elcrema Sunday Love Special; the topic for discussion today is whether a relationship can be successful if the man is broke.
Drama and I (Shawn) are going to bare our minds on this topic, and as usual, your thoughts are highly important.
First, let’s read what Drama has to say
Drama
Good day guys. How have you all been? As always, its a pleasure to be here, and discuss another important subject. Now, can a relationship survive if the man is broke? I think it can, but for this to be, he must be with the right woman, and the relationship must be built on what I call, ‘the 3 cardinals of a successful relationships’. They are; love, absolute trust, and understanding. If these are in place, there is no stopping a relationship from being successful, no matter what challenge it faces…even if the man goes broke. Let me throw some light on these 3 cardinals.

LOVE
When two people who truly want to be together are in a relationship, the relationship tends to stand the test of time, but when you enter a relationship because you hope to gain financially or otherwise, the moment the money stops flowing in, trouble sets in. This is The reason it is essentially vital that people go into a relationship only with people they love genuinely. One way of knowing if the love is real is when it’s selfless.

ABSOLUTE TRUST
Trust in a relationship is not achieved overnight; it is built over a period of time. In other words, for your partner to trust you fully, you must have proven to her that you’re deserving of it. How can you achieve this?—by being honest and open about yourself and your finances from the very beginning of the relationship.  This comes in useful at hard times because one of the reasons most women quit a relationship the moment their man stops standing up to his financial responsibilities isn’t because they do not love the man, but because they have a hard time believing the man is actually broke. In fact, some women think the man is just being stingy, but when the trust has been established, you find that the woman in love sticks around by her man and helps him back to his feet.

UNDERSTANDING
Understanding in a relationship is just as important as love; it is a necessary ingredient that helps preserve a relationship. Sometimes, two people can be in love, and still have problems because they do not understand themselves. Understanding in a relationship is the same as knowing that in a relationship challenges will arise; finances will dry up, physical beauty will fade, your partner isn’t perfect, and choosing to remain in a relationship with him/ her. When a man dates a woman who possesses this quality, an empty pocket cannot make him single again. This is why it is very vital that people are  more careful in choosing relationship partners.

Finally, I want to enjoin more women to be understanding and supportive of the men; look beyond the present and know that every situation is salvageable. That he’s broke today doesn’t mean he will be broke tomorrow; all he needs is your support and love to get through the trying times. And to those women who have stuck it out with their man through the difficult times, you are all wonderful! Men, work hard to retain your dignity and place in your relationships by assuming your responsibilities as a man. Women know times get rough; they just need to see you making an effort.

Shawn
Many ladies would tell you that dating a broke guy can be frustrating and to an extent I agree with them, but can a relationship survive if the man is broke? This to me isn’t a question that should be given a yes or no answer; basically a relationship should be able to survive as far as love exists in the relationship but in the real world, sometimes love isn’t just enough, not all ladies would enjoy a relationship where their man can’t afford some vital things.
They say diamonds are a lady’s best friend, rose would charm her heart and a date would show that you really care; but what if a man can’t afford all these but still loves his lady, would the relationship survive? To be honest, it hardly would.

Inasmuch as we try to say material things doesn’t matter in relationships, deep down we know it really does matter. Picture a man without a car, without the clothes, without money and without a job, would he still be attractive enough to his lady? I really doubt that.
Ladies want a man that can spoil them inasmuch as he loves them, meaning even though love is the vital factor here, it isn’t the only factor. So if a man can love them 100 percent but can’t afford to give her a treat on her birthday or he can’t afford to take her on a dinner date or can’t afford to give her a surprise gift, the relationship would barely be able to survive if something doesn’t happen to that man’s account fast.

Friends somehow have an impact on the lady’s thinking; if her friends are involved fancy or high profile relationships then it could have an effect on her mentality or they can even pressure her into dating someone more fancied.
Also, it doesn’t only end on the part of the lady; most times men that can’t afford to give their ladies such treats usually have low self-esteem and this can kill the relationship. A man who really isn’t in charge (so to speak) of the relationship would find it difficult to stay in a relationship where he can’t maintain a certain tempo.

Now back to the question; can a relationship survive if the man is broke? Yes, it can actually survive if both partners work hard to keep the relationship going, but more often than not this isn’t always the case.

That’s our take on this issue; do you think a relationship can survive if the man is broke?

BEFORE SHE SAID YES - (DEDICATED TO EVERY HEART-BROKEN WOMAN)

* You promised to Love her forever but now, you're tired of her.
* You said you would marry her but now, you want to dump her.
* You said she is your Life/world, but now she has become your enemy.
* You promised never to cheat on her but now you're running after her friends.
* You said you would die for her but now you are sacrificing her for another woman.
* You said you would protect her with your Life but now you are endangering her own Life.
* You said you would be there for her no matter what but now you rarely cares for her.
* you said you would buy her the world but now you're buying all the tears for her.
* You said the relationship will be strictly platonic but now, you have turned her into your sex machine/slave.
* You promised never to hurt or make her cry but now, you have turned her into your punching bag; you beat her whenever and however you like and so she cries everyday like a premature/ young widow.

YOU ARE VERY WICKED!!!

Every woman deserves to be loved, treasured and pampered but yet, it takes a real man to honour, value and respect a woman.