HOW FAR SHOULD SHARED FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES GO IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE?


784o3
Hello people, welcome to another segment of our Elcrema Sunday love special, a segment dedicated strictly to talks about what goes in relationships. This is going to be the last Elcrema Sunday Love Special of the year 2014, and just like everyone else I’m also looking forward to the New Year and a greater Elcrema Sunday Love Special. It’s important to note that we couldn’t have come this far without you guys.
I’ve met so many men and ladies with diverse views about sharing the financial burden in a relationship, and more recently I was drawn to an argument between some ladies in a forum about shared financial responsibilities—one lady was particular about how it’s the man’s job solely, with a few in support of her while others differed as well.
Drama and I (Shawn) would air our views on shared financial responsibilities and your views would as well be welcomed.
First, let’s read Drama’s opinion
Drama
As far as I’m concerned, this shouldn’t even be a debate. There’s a reason it’s called a relationship, and I believe that’s because it involves two people. Two grown people who freely decide(d) to come together and share their lives, so how can one party expect the other to bear all the burden that it brings? I think that is absolutely ridiculous.
Responsibilities should be shared in relationships according to the financial strengths of the parties involved. I would have said according to the roles of the parties involved, but that wouldn’t be fair because there are cases where the husband earns far lower than the wife so I think it’s better it’s shared depending on their financial strengths.

If the man earns more, he does more, and if it’s the woman who earns more, she gets more responsibilities. And basically, this all boils down to having great understanding between yourself and your partner. If that is in place, sharing responsibilities wouldn’t be a problem at all. It’s just sad to see that most women these days want to leave everything to the man in the relationship just because he’s ‘the man’, but that isn’t the way it ought to be. There’s no way one person can do everything.  One of the reasons you are in their life is to help and support them in every area, not just to warm their beds. Nothing should be an excuse for you not to assist your partner; if you do not have a job, go ahead and get one or start up something on your own. You can’t expect your boyfriend to take you out on a date every time and bear the burden of paying the bills all alone. As his girl, you’re supposed to take care of some of it. That’s the way it should be. In fact, helping with some of the responsibilities will earn you more respect and love from your partner, but some people do not know this. When you’re in a relationship, and you leave everything to the man, you make yourself a liability, and trust me, nobody wants a liability around them. So if you’re a woman like this, you must change your perspective and be more supportive of your man
Shawn
A relationship is a two-way thing; one person cannot form a relationship, it has to be two people coming together to form that union. However, a man is a man and a woman is a woman—we all see the man as the head of the family, he is the provider and he has the responsibility of making his lady happy, providing and even protecting her to the best of his abilities.
Now, how do we connect a relationship being a union between two people and that the fact that the man ought to be the provider? I still feel that the man should play a huge role in providing but the lady should as well play a role in supporting—like they say, behind every successful man is a woman, right? That means the woman has a role of supporting.

In the case of a relationship, it could get overly boring when the man solely pulls the strings every time—the dates, the gifts and the rest of it—this would take away that element of spark in the relationship if the woman shows no desire in taking a part in those responsibilities.
In marriages as well, this also comes up, as some women also have that mentality that their duty doesn’t also include the financial part. No matter how rich a man is I think he would feel proud to have a lady that can come up with the goods without his intervention—we really are a proud gender and we love to show off with our women a lot, and a woman that can come up with the goods would win our respect, that’s if she doesn’t do it to spite the man.

Respect is highly needed in every relationship, and respect isn’t just given, it’s earned; Jay Z is the man, but he would always give Beyonce that respect because she has earned it.
I would conclude by saying; no man would be happy when his lady becomes the boss in the paying department, but it wouldn’t be absolutely nice when she also cannot do anything. In a scale of hundred percent, I’d give the man 60 to 65 percent responsibility and probably 35 to 40 percent to the woman in the sharing of financial responsibilities.

5 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS EVERY SINGLE LADY SHOULD CONSIDER MAKING



2
It’s been an amazing 2014 and it’s time to start planning how we make 2015 a successful year. If you are a single lady, I have got 5 brilliants ideas that should make your New Year resolution list.
Below are 5 New Year resolutions every single lady should consider making:
1. YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER MAKING NEW FRIENDS: if you want to ensure you don’t end 2015 single again, you have to consider making new friends. You never know when you would meet the man of your dreams and when you make new friends, you increase your chances of meeting Mr. Right.
2. CONSIDER YOUR DATING STANDARDS: sometimes our dating standards as ladies are just unrealistic and I think it’s something you should consider looking into. A man doesn’t have to meet all of your standards; if he meets most, I think you should give him a chance.
3. GO OUT MORE: some ladies only go out when a man takes them out, it’s something you have to change in the New Year if you want to get hooked. When was the last time you went to the cinema alone to see a movie? Do this like that more. Attend weddings, dinner nights with yourself at a classy restaurant parties etc.
4. FORGET THE PAST: you have to let go of the past so you can move on. I understand the breakup was a painful one but the earlier you let go, the better your chances of getting hooked.
5. CONFIDENCE MATTERS: if you want to change your relationship status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’, you have got to believe you are good enough for any man. If you don’t believe you are good enough for any man, no man would notice you. Confidence is contagious so you need to be more confident.

6 WAYS YOU CAN ENCOURAGE A PARTNER TO EVEN DO MORE



When you have a partner that’s doing some things which you like and make you happy then you have every reason to encourage such a person.
Rather than go up against each other, partners ought to support and encourage each other to make a better relationship. If encouragement is lacking in a relationship then such a relationship might not last too long.
By now, we know the reasons why we should encourage our partners, and there are so many ways you can encourage your partner—in deeds and in action. I would share.
 1. APPRECIATE THE LITTLE ONES
He (she) who sees the value in little is the one who actually deserves more. We all love gratitude, and when you appreciate your partner, you are encouraging that person. However, when you always put your partner in the war front then you are discouraging your partner. Appreciating someone is a huge way of encouraging that person and when you encourage your partner, you give that person the zeal to do even more. Are you the one who encourages your partner?
2. GIVE A GIFT
You can encourage your partner by giving gifts; it doesn’t have to be expensive, it doesn’t have to be very huge but it just has to come from your heart. A lady can give her man a simple gift after a date out with him and by this she’s actually encouraging her man— such a lady would definitely get lots of dates thereafter from her man.
3. DON’T BE THAT NAGGING PARTNER
Have you ever been to a refuse dump or walked by a rotten object? They are surrounded by flies, noisy flies that would buzz continually for hours? Imagine the frustration that would come upon you if you are stuck with that buzzing fly. A nagging partner can be compared to that annoying fly; by nagging you frustrate and annoy your partner, but when you are that partner that doesn’t have to pull down the roof to pass a message then you are an encouraging partner, and if your partner doesn’t value you then he/she doesn’t value the right things.

4. SEND A TEXT
Your partner might be at work or somewhere else and you can show encouragement to that partner by sending a simple text: “thanks for being there for me”, “you’re the best man/woman anyone could ask for” or any of such texts that passes a lot of message. Trust me, your partner would be glued to the phone for a very long time smiling; you would make work easier for your partner and in return your partner would do a whole lot for you.
5. TELL YOUR PARTNER
Words have a huge role to play in relationships; you can use it for your favour or against you. If you use sweet words on your partner, you encourage him/her and you would reap the benefits, but if you use harsh words then your relationship would suffer. Appreciate your partner with words, tell that person face to face that you appreciate him/her, and by putting a smile on that partner’s face, your partner would do same too.
6. SURPRISE YOUR PARTNER
Surprises are a big way of encouraging a partner; it could be a surprise party, a surprise gift, a surprise visit or anything nice that you can actually surprise your partner with. Surprise takes emotions and passion to a whole new level. When you surprise your partner, you are encouraging that partner and building your relationship as well.

It doesn’t just end there, there are so many ways you can encourage your partner too; think outside the box and share your thoughts with me. You should know, if you haven’t done anything to encourage your partner then you haven’t done anything to make your partner do more for you.