HOW FAR SHOULD SHARED FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES GO IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE?

Hello people, welcome to another segment of our Elcrema Sunday love special, a segment dedicated strictly to talks about what goes in relationships. This is going to be the last Elcrema Sunday Love Special of the year 2014, and just like everyone else I’m also looking forward to the New Year and a greater Elcrema Sunday Love Special. It’s important to note that we couldn’t have come this far without you guys.
I’ve met so many men and ladies with diverse views about sharing the financial burden in a relationship, and more recently I was drawn to an argument between some ladies in a forum about shared financial responsibilities—one lady was particular about how it’s the man’s job solely, with a few in support of her while others differed as well.
Drama and I (Shawn) would air our views on shared financial responsibilities and your views would as well be welcomed.
First, let’s read Drama’s opinion
Drama
As far as I’m concerned, this shouldn’t even be a debate. There’s a reason it’s called a relationship, and I believe that’s because it involves two people. Two grown people who freely decide(d) to come together and share their lives, so how can one party expect the other to bear all the burden that it brings? I think that is absolutely ridiculous.
Responsibilities should be shared in relationships according to the financial strengths of the parties involved. I would have said according to the roles of the parties involved, but that wouldn’t be fair because there are cases where the husband earns far lower than the wife so I think it’s better it’s shared depending on their financial strengths.

If the man earns more, he does more, and if it’s the woman who earns more, she gets more responsibilities. And basically, this all boils down to having great understanding between yourself and your partner. If that is in place, sharing responsibilities wouldn’t be a problem at all. It’s just sad to see that most women these days want to leave everything to the man in the relationship just because he’s ‘the man’, but that isn’t the way it ought to be. There’s no way one person can do everything.  One of the reasons you are in their life is to help and support them in every area, not just to warm their beds. Nothing should be an excuse for you not to assist your partner; if you do not have a job, go ahead and get one or start up something on your own. You can’t expect your boyfriend to take you out on a date every time and bear the burden of paying the bills all alone. As his girl, you’re supposed to take care of some of it. That’s the way it should be. In fact, helping with some of the responsibilities will earn you more respect and love from your partner, but some people do not know this. When you’re in a relationship, and you leave everything to the man, you make yourself a liability, and trust me, nobody wants a liability around them. So if you’re a woman like this, you must change your perspective and be more supportive of your man
Shawn
A relationship is a two-way thing; one person cannot form a relationship, it has to be two people coming together to form that union. However, a man is a man and a woman is a woman—we all see the man as the head of the family, he is the provider and he has the responsibility of making his lady happy, providing and even protecting her to the best of his abilities.
Now, how do we connect a relationship being a union between two people and that the fact that the man ought to be the provider? I still feel that the man should play a huge role in providing but the lady should as well play a role in supporting—like they say, behind every successful man is a woman, right? That means the woman has a role of supporting.

In the case of a relationship, it could get overly boring when the man solely pulls the strings every time—the dates, the gifts and the rest of it—this would take away that element of spark in the relationship if the woman shows no desire in taking a part in those responsibilities.
In marriages as well, this also comes up, as some women also have that mentality that their duty doesn’t also include the financial part. No matter how rich a man is I think he would feel proud to have a lady that can come up with the goods without his intervention—we really are a proud gender and we love to show off with our women a lot, and a woman that can come up with the goods would win our respect, that’s if she doesn’t do it to spite the man.

Respect is highly needed in every relationship, and respect isn’t just given, it’s earned; Jay Z is the man, but he would always give Beyonce that respect because she has earned it.
I would conclude by saying; no man would be happy when his lady becomes the boss in the paying department, but it wouldn’t be absolutely nice when she also cannot do anything. In a scale of hundred percent, I’d give the man 60 to 65 percent responsibility and probably 35 to 40 percent to the woman in the sharing of financial responsibilities.

5 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS EVERY SINGLE LADY SHOULD CONSIDER MAKING

It’s been an amazing 2014 and it’s time to start planning how we make 2015 a successful year. If you are a single lady, I have got 5 brilliants ideas that should make your New Year resolution list.
Below are 5 New Year resolutions every single lady should consider making:
1. YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER MAKING NEW FRIENDS: if you want to ensure you don’t end 2015 single again, you have to consider making new friends. You never know when you would meet the man of your dreams and when you make new friends, you increase your chances of meeting Mr. Right.
2. CONSIDER YOUR DATING STANDARDS: sometimes our dating standards as ladies are just unrealistic and I think it’s something you should consider looking into. A man doesn’t have to meet all of your standards; if he meets most, I think you should give him a chance.
3. GO OUT MORE: some ladies only go out when a man takes them out, it’s something you have to change in the New Year if you want to get hooked. When was the last time you went to the cinema alone to see a movie? Do this like that more. Attend weddings, dinner nights with yourself at a classy restaurant parties etc.
4. FORGET THE PAST: you have to let go of the past so you can move on. I understand the breakup was a painful one but the earlier you let go, the better your chances of getting hooked.
5. CONFIDENCE MATTERS: if you want to change your relationship status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’, you have got to believe you are good enough for any man. If you don’t believe you are good enough for any man, no man would notice you. Confidence is contagious so you need to be more confident.

6 WAYS YOU CAN ENCOURAGE A PARTNER TO EVEN DO MORE

When you have a partner that’s doing some things which you like and make you happy then you have every reason to encourage such a person.
Rather than go up against each other, partners ought to support and encourage each other to make a better relationship. If encouragement is lacking in a relationship then such a relationship might not last too long.
By now, we know the reasons why we should encourage our partners, and there are so many ways you can encourage your partner—in deeds and in action. I would share.
 1. APPRECIATE THE LITTLE ONES
He (she) who sees the value in little is the one who actually deserves more. We all love gratitude, and when you appreciate your partner, you are encouraging that person. However, when you always put your partner in the war front then you are discouraging your partner. Appreciating someone is a huge way of encouraging that person and when you encourage your partner, you give that person the zeal to do even more. Are you the one who encourages your partner?
2. GIVE A GIFT
You can encourage your partner by giving gifts; it doesn’t have to be expensive, it doesn’t have to be very huge but it just has to come from your heart. A lady can give her man a simple gift after a date out with him and by this she’s actually encouraging her man— such a lady would definitely get lots of dates thereafter from her man.
3. DON’T BE THAT NAGGING PARTNER
Have you ever been to a refuse dump or walked by a rotten object? They are surrounded by flies, noisy flies that would buzz continually for hours? Imagine the frustration that would come upon you if you are stuck with that buzzing fly. A nagging partner can be compared to that annoying fly; by nagging you frustrate and annoy your partner, but when you are that partner that doesn’t have to pull down the roof to pass a message then you are an encouraging partner, and if your partner doesn’t value you then he/she doesn’t value the right things.

4. SEND A TEXT
Your partner might be at work or somewhere else and you can show encouragement to that partner by sending a simple text: “thanks for being there for me”, “you’re the best man/woman anyone could ask for” or any of such texts that passes a lot of message. Trust me, your partner would be glued to the phone for a very long time smiling; you would make work easier for your partner and in return your partner would do a whole lot for you.
5. TELL YOUR PARTNER
Words have a huge role to play in relationships; you can use it for your favour or against you. If you use sweet words on your partner, you encourage him/her and you would reap the benefits, but if you use harsh words then your relationship would suffer. Appreciate your partner with words, tell that person face to face that you appreciate him/her, and by putting a smile on that partner’s face, your partner would do same too.
6. SURPRISE YOUR PARTNER
Surprises are a big way of encouraging a partner; it could be a surprise party, a surprise gift, a surprise visit or anything nice that you can actually surprise your partner with. Surprise takes emotions and passion to a whole new level. When you surprise your partner, you are encouraging that partner and building your relationship as well.

It doesn’t just end there, there are so many ways you can encourage your partner too; think outside the box and share your thoughts with me. You should know, if you haven’t done anything to encourage your partner then you haven’t done anything to make your partner do more for you.

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO GET MARRIED? 6 THINGS TO ALWAYS CONSIDER

Marriage could be the best thing that could happen in your life and could also be the worst thing you would ever experience if not done at the right time.
I was drawn to a recent comment by a reader asking when the right time is to get married. That’s a very important question but it isn’t one that should be answered in a hurry. Such a question is one that has so many answers coming together to give the perfect answer.
So many things influences when the right time for marriage actually is and the right time could differ from person to person, no matter their age. I would share some of the necessary things to consider to really know it’s the right time.
1.  WHEN YOU MEET THE RIGHT PARTNER
It’s highly important that meeting the right person would go a long way in determining the success or failure of your marriage. You might love the wrong person and end up having a marriage that would be marred with unhappiness, violence and regrets. Marriage is a bigger deal than a mere relationship; falling in love isn’t just the ultimate but falling in love with the right partner.
2. WHEN YOU ARE READY FOR RESPONSIBILITIES
Like I mentioned earlier, marriage is a bigger deal than relationships, it comes with a host of responsibilities. The man has a role to play, the woman has a role to play as well, and playing those roles effectively comes with massive responsibilities; grooming your children and being a good role model to them is also a big responsibility and if you aren’t ready for these responsibilities, you would be put under pressure and your marriage could crash afterwards.
3. SURE OF YOUR FEELINGS
You just have to be sure of your feelings. I always tell people that love and lust are two identical twins that can’t be separated at first viewing. You have to be sure that you are really in love and not in lust, you have to be sure that you can still look at your partner in the next twenty years and be proud that you married such a partner, you have to be sure that you aren’t going into the marriage for wrong and selfish reasons.
4. WHEN YOU ARE MATURE ENOUGH
Relationship needs maturity to be successful; however, marriage needs a higher level of maturity to pass through the rough patches that you may encounter. To be a faithful partner needs a higher level of discipline and maturity; to be an understanding and tolerant partner needs maturity. Everything about a successful marriage has a lot to do with maturity.
5. WHEN YOUR MIND IS MADE UP WITHOUT PRESSURE
Life is filled with different kinds of pressures and different pressures for different reasons. Marital pressure is one of those common pressures people face in life. I must reiterate marriage isn’t something someone should be pressured into. When you are pressed into it, it could be a ditch; you have to be ready for yourself and not because the society pressures you into marriage. After all, the same society would castigate and probably criticise you if your marriage fails. So never walk into the trap of pressure, walk into marriage when your mind tells you ‘you are ready.
6. WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS READY TOO
You are ready when your partner is ready; you shouldn’t get married to a partner that isn’t ready to be married to you yet, the chance that the marriage could crash is quite high. You have to be ready and your partner has to be ready too, else the outcome might not really be favourable.

These things and a host of others go a long way in determining you are ready. A happy marriage should be the motivation for marriage, not just getting married for unwholesome reasons. Don’t jump into a ship that you don’t know the captain.

STUDY HAS DISCOVERED THE THREE MOST SENSITIVE PARTS IN A WOMAN’S BODY

Men are always curious as to what parts of a woman’s body is the most sensitive to touch; well fellas, today is your lucky day as science has confirmed the spots women are most sensitive to.
Canadian scientists did a research to figure out which parts of a woman’s body are the most erogenous. The researchers studied 3o healthy women between the ages of 18 and 35, undressed and lay on a table covered in a bed sheet, used light touch, pressure and vibration to assess how sensitive women’s’ clitoris, labia minora, vaginal margin, anal margin, lateral breast (side boob), areola (the small ring of skin surrounding the nipple), nipple, neck and forearm area.
They applied stimulation for 1.5 seconds, and waited for five seconds before asking the women if they felt it.
The research which was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found out these three as the most sensitive areas:
-          For a light touch the neck, forearm, and vaginal margin are the most sensitive areas, and the areola is the least sensitive.
-          For pressure, the clitoris and nipple are the most sensitive, and the side boob and abdomen are the least.
-          The clitoris and nipple are the most sensitive to vibration.
Another interesting thing they found was that the genital area was more sensitive to pressure than light touch.
However, the researchers say that understanding these sensitive areas is useful knowledge for breast augmentation and gender reassignment surgery.

5 SECRETS OF HAPPY COUPLES

We all want our marriage or relationship to be a happy one but sometimes we just don’t know what to do. The truth is there is no simple formula out there to make your marriage or relationship a happy one but there are some secrets all happy couples have in common.
Below are 5 secrets of happy couples
1. THEY APPRECIATE THEMSELVES: after being in a marriage or relationship for a very long time, it’s so easy to take your partner for granted. Couples that have maintained a happy union over a long period of time would tell you that they learnt to always appreciate each other and they try not to take anything for granted no matter how little the act is.
2. SEX ISN’T A COMMODITY: it’s common for couples to say no sex when they are angry. Happy couples understand sex should be a form of showing love and not a means of showing power when things go wrong. If you are angry about something, it’s important you speak to your partner about it and not use sex as a means of negotiating.
3. THEY SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER: time spent together matters if you want a happy and successful relationship. They celebrate their anniversaries, visit exotic places together etc. Happy couples value time spent together with their partners.
4. THEY HAVE SECRET CODES: every happy couple have a special way of communicating when they are with other people. They alone know these signs. It could be the use of the eye or fingers. Using these secret sign languages help bond couples. Every happy couple knows this.
5. THEY KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF PET NAMES: pet names help increase intimacy between couples and every happy couple knows this. It also helps couples feel close to one another.

There are lots of secrets happy couples share but these 5 secrets listed above would surely help you build a happy relationship. We should also not forget love and trust is important if you want your relationship to last.

SHOULD MARRIED WOMEN CUT OFF THEIR SINGLE FRIENDS?

It isn’t unusual that when some women get married they tend to slightly disassociate with their former (single) friends and probably form a new circle of friends.
I stumbled across a piece nicely written by stylish psychologist, Adejoro Olumofin. He titled this “Let’s talk Volume 1. (Should married women cut off their single friends?)”
Enjoy:
Psychometrics has shown that some married women cut off their single friends. This has ended long term friendships, even with siblings, caused envy, strained childhood relationships and created bitter rivalries.
Should married women have only married friends?  Some married women who have cut their friends off claim that:
(1) Their focus has changed and they no longer have similar interests or anything in common with their single friends.
(2) They don’t want to get tempted back into single ladies behavioural pattern or lifestyle such that they develop a level of respect for being married.
(3) They don’t want their single friends close to their husbands because of temptation on both sides as well as keeping boundaries of respect for their spouse.
(4) They believe that single ladies are jealous of them and could therefore be a threat to their marriage in one way or another.
(5) Disapproval of certain friends from the spouse.
(6) Some friends have always opposed and still oppose their marriage and are always looking to pick a fault in either the spouse or the marriage.
(7) The feeling of superiority over single friends from the idea that there is somewhat a level attained above them.
(8)Protection from talking to friends about their marriages and giving them the gun to use against them.
Are these reasons valid and true?
This does not apply to all married women obviously but this is a very popular phenomenon in Nigeria.
There is no fixed solution or stand on this because what works for Mrs “A” may not work for Mrs “B”, this is relative to individuals. Everyone knows what works for them, the type of friends they have and the type of husbands they have. Some friends may have ill motives and some friends may not, some husbands may chase your friends, some husbands may not.
Let’s make sure whatever decision we make is based on best interest for the marriage to work and for all parties but always beneficial to us.
Also make sure to put facts into consideration. i.e. the history you have with some friends and your husband’s personality. If you have any friend that has a history of snatching your boyfriends then you clearly don’t want her near your husband. Same if you have friends who are always in competition with you or backbiting you etc.
Don’t cut your friends off because people are doing it. Rather establish there a balance between all relationships including family, friendship and marriage

7 MASCULINE FEATURES MOST WOMEN RESPOND TO

There are some basic elements a man possesses that could trigger a woman’s emotion or mind-set, and when her emotions have been triggered anything can happen from them onwards.
If you have some or most of these features then you would have the ladies coming in their droves but if you have none of them then getting a lady to admire you would really be a tough one.
Have fun fellas as I bring you seven features most women respond to.
1. CONFIDENCE
Most women are attracted to confidence even without knowing, confidence has a way of hiding flaws and showing just the catchy side of a person. A lady sees a man with confidence as someone who knows what he’s doing. When a man is confident, he radiates in everything he does and the ladies respond to such a man.
2. HUMOUR
A study conducted by Stanford University School of Medicine in 2013 found that women have evolved to date men that make them laugh. A man that can put a smile on a lady’s face has a higher chance of also winning her heart; that is if he doesn’t go too far in making a fool of himself.
3. ACCENT AND VOICE PATTERN
There is usually something about how a man talks that triggers a lady’s response. Have you ever heard a lady say “I just like the way he talks”? Men with somewhat baritone voice always make the hairs on a lady’s back stand.
4. FASHION STYLE
Have you read 5 reasons every woman is attracted to a well-dressed man? A man that has a lovely fashion style is usually a lady’s delight-he’s seen as attractive and classy.

5. MONEY
Money answers all things they say, and that bold statement is so not far away from the truth (you can even call it the truth if you may). A rich man is a lady’s delight—he’s classy, lives a posh life and can afford almost everything he wants—now that is attractive. A study carried out by psychologist George Gallup and his colleagues at the University at Albany found that women have stronger orgasms if their partner is rich and funny; now that’s the power of money.
6. INTELLIGENCE
If you don’t have the aforementioned features then at least be intelligent for your own sake. A man who knows so many things about so many things is an attractive man. Such a person might not get the hot ladies in high school, but at a later stage of life, he surely would because women at that age have matured and wouldn’t get carried away with the superficial things the young girls normally get attracted to.
7. A CHARMING SMILE
A man’s smile can actually be very charming and most ladies would really respond to such a man. Have you ever wondered why the lady’s man in most romance novels is usually characterised with a charming smile? The lady’s whole body system and hormones would easily warm up to such a man.

Any of these features would definitely get ladies attracted to you and you can be the ladies’ man— who says you can’t?

6 OF THE BEST CHRISTMAS MESSAGES TO SEND YOUR PARTNER THIS CHRISTMAS

Christmas is here again and the celebrations have kicked off all over. If you are thinking of messages to send your partner, I have got 6 of the best Christmas messages.
Below are the messages that would put a smile on the face of your partner

1. You are the gift I ask Santa for every Christmas. Merry Christmas to the one I love.

2. Having you as my lover makes me feel as if it is Christmas all year round. The warmth and comfort that comes with this season reminds me of you.

3. Feelings are many but words are few. Clouds are dark but the sky is blue. Love is a paper, life is glue. Everything is false, only my love is true. Merry Christmas.

4. This is the season for bright lights and shiny packages. It is a time for sharing love and being together. It is a time for wishing you all the best.

5. Time to celebrate the birth of the only one who could love you more than me. Merry Christmas to you my darling.

6. Why do I need Christmas presents when I already have you? Merry Christmas to the most beautiful angel on earth. I love you.

5 THINGS EVERY SINGLE LADY SHOULD KNOW

While some ladies treat being single as normal, others hate it when they are single; they just get too frustrated when they are single. For all the single ladies out there, I have got 5 things you need to know
1. DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS SAY:
It’s so easy to get frustrated and worry too much if you are a single woman who is in her 30s. The pressure from friends and family can just be too much to handle. As a single woman, you need to understand it’s your life and you shouldn’t live it for others. No one should control your relationships for you; you alone should be in control.
2. BETTER TO HAVE A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP THAN A BROKEN MARRIAGE:
If you ask those that have gone through divorce, they would tell you it’s much easier ending a relationship than ending a marriage. You go through a lot when you end a marriage and because you are now single after your last relationship failed doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world for you.
3. BETTER TO BE SINGLE THAN BEING WITH THE WRONG PARTNER:
You should understand that because your best friend is in a relationship doesn’t mean they are happy in that relationship. Some people endure being in an unhealthy relationship because they are scared of being single. You should get so frustrated and end up with a person you don’t love.
4. ENJOY YOUR SINGLE STATUS:
You should enjoy being single because you won’t be restricted from doing whatever you want to do. Instead of worrying about being single, I think you should instead live life and be happy. Learn new skills, make new friends etc.
5. TIME TO STOP SOME NEGATIVE HABITS:
When you are single it’s important you use that time to re-evaluate why your previous relationship came to an end and try to make yourself a better person. Maybe you are someone who gets angry easily, you should use that time to work on yourself and you never know, your ideal man could just be around the corner.
Being single isn’t the end of the world.

5 REASONS WHY MEN ARE SCARED OF MARRIAGE

Before now, men believed in marriage. More men understood the significance of the union, and what it means to have a person in your life with whom you can share your life, and raise a family with; but today, the story isn’t quite the same. More men are running away from marriage, and it’s alarming. Rather than get married, more men want to live the single life longer than is acceptable.

So what is really responsible for this growing new trend? Well, here’s what I think…

1. FEAR OF GIVING UP THEIR FREEDOM

A lot of men feel like getting married means they’re no longer in control of their lives. They believe that once you get married, you’ll have to submit to the whims of your ‘tyrannical bride’ in order to keep the marriage a happy one. So, In order to avoid this ‘loss of freedom’, they avoid marriage all together. They’d rather not marry in order to be able to come and go as they please, hang out at the clubs, engage in their hobbies, and just live their life the way they desire without having to be responsible to another person, but this thought pattern is only a result of immaturity and the lack of understanding of marriage because it doesn’t have to be like this. The only way this can be a reality is if you marry the wrong person—the kind of person that wants you to fit into their box instead of appreciating you for the person you are. More men need to understand that marriage isn’t a death sentence on their lives, but an opportunity to share it with a wonderful person if they do the right thing and select the right mate for them.

2. FEAR OF LOSING THEIR FRIENDS

I’ve heard some men say they don’t want to give up their lives, friends, and social life in exchange for their bride and family. You might think I’m kidding, but I’m serious. They act as if there is no way their new life of marriage can co-exist with their friends, but that isn’t true. Marriage and personal life can coexist…you just need to find a balance.

3. THE BELIEF IN THE MARRIAGE STEREOTYPES

You must be aware that there are men who believe all the stereotypes of marriage and want nothing to do with them. They are certain their wife is going to ‘nag them to death’ about any and everything. The wife is going to transform into a sexless being that is all about money, the kids, and whine. She is going to become a strict task master who only wants to see her own wishes done, and nothing more.

This belief is funny, because clearly, men who think like this are getting their information from non-married people or unhappily married men. These stereotypes are wrong and off base (depending on who you marry). I think it is most important to select the right person to marry and if you do, then you will live a wonderful married life. If not, you could become one of these bitter men walking around perpetuating these marriage stereotypes

4. FEAR OF COMMITMENT

This is true, most men have a classic fear of commitment; you know, that type most people talk about when it comes to marriage. Being with one person is something that seems unnatural to most men. They are afraid to be vulnerable and completely give themselves up for another person in addition to all the horror stories they are told about marriage.

I think this fear is a natural feeling all people experience. However, I think marriage can be an amazing experience if you’re with the right person. Of course, there’ll be rough patches, but being with the right person makes it all worth it. I don’t think there’s anything like coming home to that one person that knows you best and has a big smile on her face because she has been wanting to see you all day.

5. THE NIGHTMARISH FINANCIAL INVESTMENT THAT COMES WITH GETTING MARRIED

Women tend to dream about the fairy tale wedding, but men think about the nightmarish wedding expense(s). This is very true; men really don’t dream about the wedding day. It is all an expense to them. Besides, how many people do you know who have spent huge money on their wedding day and ended up divorced? TOO MANY! Men think about this constantly and find it to be foolish, but will do it if their bride insists.

Bottom line is; marriage is a beautiful thing. Life is worth sharing with a special person, and marriage offers you a platform to have that for the longer term. There’s nothing scary about marriage. Guys, find your special someone, get married, have kids, and grow old together!

And oh…Compliments of the season to all of you, our esteemed readers.

5 KINDS OF PEOPLE YOU MUST NEVER MARRY!

Marriage always is a different ball game from dating. When you’re dating for the fun of it, some things can be tolerated, but if you’re dating someone with the thought of marrying them someday, then you must be very careful in the choice of partner you make because whatever decisions you take can have a long-lasting effect on your life. You must ensure you avoid certain kinds of people so your marriage turns out just as well as you want it to. To help you make your choice with much more ease, I have put this piece together. I hope you find it helpful.

1. MR/MISS ‘I’M MORE INTERESTED IN YOUR BODY THAN IN YOUR PERSONALITY’
There’s nothing wrong with your lover or partner loving and complimenting your body and sexual prowess, absolutely nothing wrong with that, but if that’s all they ever tell you, then, you should beware of them because it implies that they only see you as a sexual object, and nothing more. A person who truly cares about you doesn’t just compliment your outer beauty alone, they also compliment your personality because they’re in love with it just as much. Love isn’t partial, it comes complete and whole.
2. MR/MISS VAIN AND MATERIALISTIC
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to acquire wealth and property, but there should be a clear line between moderation and extremism. When someone seeks wealth at all costs, he/she can go to any length to achieve that objective, and that includes getting into all sorts of trouble and illegal activities. People like that can be a very bad influence on you and your reputation. Also, they usually do not care about anyone or anything as long as they get what they want, they’ll even put you at risk if that’s what it takes to get what they want. You certainly don’t want someone like this in your life for the longer term, trust me!
3. MR/MISS UNCONTROLLABLE ANGER
Everyone gets angry every once in a while, that is quite natural. However if your partner is in the habit of destroying property in their anger moments, it is no longer anger, but rage, and I suggest you ditch him/her because sooner or later, they might take it all out on you. No sane human being destroys property bought with hard-earned money just because they’re angry. A man or woman who has anger issues is irresponsible and is a potential danger to you and your kids.
4. MR/MISS ‘KNOW IT ALL’
Relationships aren’t just for sex and physical satisfaction alone, they’re meant to help people learn from each other and gain mental improvement. If your partner never listens or take corrections from you, and is always trying to impose his own ideas on you, run as far away from him/her as possible because someone like that hasn’t an iota of respect for you and what you represent. Marriage with someone of that nature will bring nothing but misery to you.
5. MR/MISS ‘I HAVE NO PLANS FOR THE FUTURE’
Of course they won’t literally tell you they have no plans for the future. I doubt anyone is that daft. Lol. However, with a person’s actions and general attitude toward life, you’ll be able to easily tell how seriously they take their future. For instance, if your partner (man or woman) has no job, and isn’t seeking to engage himself or herself in something productive, and never discusses his future plans or projections with you, such a person isn’t serious about life, and you have no business being with someone like that in the first place…run, and run for your life.


P.S: Never get into marriage with any of the sort of people listed above in hope that you can ‘change them’. People have tried it in the past, and it always never ends well. Some people are just incorrigible. If he/she doesn’t love you enough to turn a new leaf before marriage, they might not change after.

TOP 6 LIES MEN TELL JUST TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS

If a man really wants a woman he perceives he can’t get the easy way, he usually cooks up different stories he can tell her to win her heart (more like deceive her into giving in to his desires), and that is why women must be more careful in dealing with men. When a guy comes your way, be sure to access him properly, lest you fall for one of the following lies…the top 6 lies men tell just to get into your pants. Read, and thank me later…

1. I’M SINGLE…AND READY TO MINGLE
When a man desperately wants to get in bed with you, he’s going to do everything he can to achieve that purpose, and that includes lying about his relationship status. If he tells you he has a girlfriend, chances are you’ll run in the other direction. One of the common lies men tell is that they’re single when they’re actually in a relationship. Sometimes you have to take his word for it, but if you take the time to do some digging of your own, you might find out something that will kill-off any feeling you have for him.
2. I WON’T TELL ANYONE
Sometimes, you like a guy, and wanna hook up with him, but somehow, you have doubts about his ability to keep secrets. Now, being the smart man that he is, he’ll want to delete your doubts. He’ll promise you that he’ll keep your romance a secret, but he’ll end up bragging to his friends. Once he blabs to one person, it can quickly become public knowledge, and it won’t stay secret for long.
3. YOU’RE AMAZING/YOU’RE JUST MY TYPE
Ladies, beware when a man constantly showers you with compliments. Of course they’re genuine sometimes, but often times, they’re nothing but a ploy to get you in bed. If he feels like he has to butter you up before you’ll kiss him or have sex with him, he’ll say whatever he has to say. He’ll tell you you’re beautiful, and that you’re so ‘marryable’ (if there’s such a word). He might even tell you that he loves you. If you’re anywhere near a bed, don’t always take his word for it.
4. I EARN BIG
This lie is often used on women who are more attracted to men with higher incomes. If a guy perceives that you’re easily impressed by a fat wallet and fancy things, he’ll use that weakness against you. He’ll lie about his job; how much he earns, and what he does for a living. He’ll tell you that he makes six figures, or that he recently got promoted. He’ll say whatever he can to appear more marketable. There are women who just fall prey to this sort of lie, not because they are attracted to money, but because they met the wrong guy.
5. I LOVE CHILDREN…CAN’T WAIT TO HAVE MINE
If a man’s really desperate, he’ll also lie about something as important as children. I mean, what do women love more than babies? In an attempt to impress you, he’ll make you believe that he loves babies, and that he wants to get married and have kids as soon as possible. That way, you’ll think of him as a potential mate, and won’t mind jumping into bed with him. This is one of the most deceitful ways men use to get into a woman’s pants.
6. I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE
It’s common knowledge that women like cuddling a lot. They love to feel a man’s body pressed against their own, and most times, when they do it, they do it for the sake of it, and nothing more. However, men rarely cuddle for the sake of it. If a man wants to cuddle with you, chances are he wants to have sex in the process…so ladies, always be wary. It’s possible that he’s romantic, but most times, he’s using cuddling as an excuse to get into your pants.
So ladies, BEWARE!

DO YOU KNOW THAT QUARRELLING WITH YOUR PARTNER HAS AN ADVERSE EFFECT ON YOUR BODY? 7 RESEARCHES THAT PROVE SO

I hate the saying that it’s okay for partners to argue; when you feel it’s okay to argue then you would argue with your partner. After an argument, you would feel it’s okay and then another and another and another, till arguments become a usual part of the relationship.
Yes, you may reach a point where friction would come between you and your partner, it might be normal really, but it’s not okay to have the ideology that it’s okay to argue with your partner, because it always starts with just one argument.
There are various reasons backed by research where constantly arguing with your partner would bring damage to your health.
Below are some risks that come with the territory:
1. IT INCREASES THE RISK OF DEPRESSION
Have you noticed that a lot of people who suffer from depression or who have even gone on to commit suicide as a result of depression usually have a frail relationship? Constantly arguing with your partner can make depression set in and once depression sets in that relationship, it could lead to a host of other health risks and habits which could cause damage to your health like alcohol and drug abuse.
2. HIGHER MORTALITY RISK
Arguing constantly with your partner can lead to a higher risk of premature death. A research by Danish researchers from the university of Copenhagen found that constantly argue with a partner can increase a person’s mortality risk by two or three times. The worst part is men are even more vulnerable to this.
3. PHYSIOLOGICAL REACTION TO STRESS
Research has also found that constantly arguing with your partner has a physiological reaction to stress which can lead to high blood pressure, and an increased risk of cardiovascular diseases.
4. LOWERS THE IMMUNE SYSTEM
If you notice, after a heated argument with your partner you might tend to feel exhausted. Research has found that the reason behind this is that arguing with your partner can cause stress and when the body is stressed, it believes that there is a threat that needs to be cushioned. This goes on to affect the immune system and leaves you feeling exhausted. When your immune system is down, you can be exposed to sickness and diseases
5. COULD LEAD TO AN INCREASE IN WEIGHT AND CHOLESTEROL LEVEL
Stress resulting from quarrelling with your partner can lead to an increase in weight and cholesterol level. When people are unhappy, there is this tendency to eat anything and this can lead to a bad eating habit. When you get to stuff yourself up with junk foods and other unhealthy foods, weight and cholesterol level could become an issue.
6. CHILDREN SUFFER FROM THIS
In the case of couples with kids, this also has an adverse effect on those young children. A research team from the University of Oregon has found that parents who argue in front of their babies cause them lasting damage because they are likely to suffer from stress later in life. They described infants brain as ‘highly plastic’ and found that even if a baby is asleep, hearing arguments between parents affects the way in which they process the emotional tones of voice. As a result babies from homes with conflicts display increased stress levels. It’s disturbing to see parents arguing in front of their little children.
7. HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE
As pointed out in the third tip, high blood pressure is a physiological stress that can result from arguing with your partner. During a heated argument with your partner, your body’s blood pressure rises because your heart starts pumping blood faster. More disturbingly, your blood pressure could remain that way after a sustained series of arguments.

If these seven reasons aren’t enough to quit the frequent fights and arguments in your marriage and relationship, I wonder what is. Quarrelling causes more harm than good to your relationship; talk about your relationship problems in a peaceful manner rather than raising the roofs at the slightest instance.

SHOULD MARRIAGE BE THE ULTIMATE REASON WHY WE DATE?

Should getting married to a person be the only reason why we enter a relationship with that person? Is it right to make marriage the ultimate goal?
This question will definitely divide opinions and it was in fact a topic of a heated debate between my pals the last time we hanged out.
Some argued if you are in a relationship where there is no potential for marriage, you are just wasting your time and they don’t see the need for such relationships. They argued that when we fall in love with someone, we hope to build a future with that special someone.
They also argued a relationship without the prospects of marriage is a waste of time as it’s only based on sex and nothing more.
The other group felt marriage shouldn’t be the reason why we date. They argued you could meet someone you want to have a relationship with but you both know you can’t get married. They argued because you can’t get married to someone shouldn’t stop you from sharing an intimate relationship with that person.
They also argued that there are people who don’t want to get married; should such people avoid relationships because they don’t want to get married?
We all know how such arguments end, no one really wins. LOL.
So what do you think about this subject, should marriage be the ultimate reason why we date someone?

10 Reasons Why Men Prefer Dating Younger Women

A good percentage of men nowadays will attest to having the urge to date women who are at least five years younger than they are. Why? As it is with men, they are attracted to pretty younger ladies who are still able to maintain themselves. The kind of lady who still wakes up, dresses to kill, wears make up and by the time they step out of that door, they are a complete package that any man would want to be associated with, but wait men also prove to be more complicated than that!
Here is a list of ten viable reasons:


FIRST, THERE IS THAT EGO BOOST IN MEN:

Every man wants to feel authoritative around their partners and due to the great age difference, the younger woman ought to have a lot of respect for the man .This is in comparison to the older woman who is probably almost the same age as the man and thus tends to feel less submissive to the man .Younger women hence tend to be totally submissive and thus attract a great deal of older me

SECONDLY, LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS THAT PROBABLY ENDED UP WITH A BREAK UP OR A DIVORCE:

Chances are that the already mature man would feel dating a younger woman would help him recover the lost days of his youth. Take for instance a man who last visited the movies about two decades ago, will obviously be pleased to go back in time, probably watch a twenty-first century movie or two and apparently he will feel like he has already caught up with time.

GENERALLY, WOMEN ARE SAID TO MATURE FASTER THAN MEN:

This means that for a man that is, say twenty four years old, a woman who is around twenty two years of age is more mature than he is .This would mean the man is less mature than the woman and hence decisions made by the man would tend to be overlooked. It is therefore logical for the man to marry a woman who is much younger than he is.

FINANCIAL STABILITY OF THE MEN:

Most men with financial security know they have an added monetary advantage since women are in love with financial security. They therefore are doing fun stuff with young pretty women who have flexible schedules and have an open mind in all aspects.

DESIRE TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT HE ’STILL GOT IT’:

Truth be told, dating a younger woman is enough proof that a man, especially an older one still rules the world. In doing so his confidence magically elevates greatly and this, for men can be considered as an automatic ego boost exercise and a good way to outshine among their peers.

YOUNGER WOMEN ARE LESS DEMANDING COMPARED TO THEIR OLDER COUNTERPARTS:

Men view them as carefree and have less pressure especially on topics such as settling down for marriage. Younger women, according to men, want to have fun with their lives and not cling to serious attitudes like family affairs.

MYTHS AND BELIEFS EFFECTS ON THE GENERAL JUDGMENT:

Most of the men think that all older women are the same due to previous relationship experiences which obviously did not end well. For instance if during a previous marriage a man experienced disrespect, he may develop the notion that all older women are disrespectful and therefore, the older man looks for younger woman with the belief that a change is as good as rest.

YOUNGER WOMEN ARE ‘FRESHER’ COMPARED TO OLDER WOMEN:

The younger women tend to have an optimistic view of the future compared to an older woman. The older woman has probably been hurt over and over and with time, has become a pessimist. This thus makes the men get interested in the younger optimistic woman instead.

YOUNGER WOMEN ARE GENERALLY FUN:

As much as a younger woman is fun outdoors, she is also as fun indoors, her explorative nature makes her wants to know and do more when it comes to bedroom affairs and this is obviously a must have for any man out there.

LASTLY, DATING A YOUNGER WOMAN IS A SOURCE OF RESPECT AMONGST MEN’S PEERS:

As mentioned earlier, men who are dating a younger woman tend to show the world they have got it. This means the woman can be viewed as a trophy that the man is lucky to have.

6 REASONS YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE A PARTNER THAT’S TRYING SO HARD

To be a good partner isn’t easy, but even at that, to find a good partner is an even harder task. I mean if there were better partners there would be lesser divorces, fewer scenes of domestic violence, lesser breakups and heart breaks, lesser feeling of loneliness and rejection, lesser unhappiness rate in relationship—I can go on and on
The fact that there are terrible partners out there doesn’t mean that there aren’t good partners; sometimes people even have good partners and even let them go for some careless reasons. Also, some partners aren’t there yet, they still fall short of being that dream partner but the good part is upon all their shortcomings, they still try hard to be that better person to their partner—even such a partner should be appreciated.
I would share six reasons why you should appreciate the two kinds of partners mentioned above.
1. YOUR PARTNER WOULD FEEL APPRECIATED
Of course, we all know how the feeling of being appreciated is. When you appreciate your partner, there is this unexplainable feeling within that partner that only that partner can understand. That feeling of being appreciated makes you feel worthy —just like a young kid in school that’s being congratulated by her parents for improving from 10th position in class to 4th position—she might not be in the top three yet but she would feel worthy within her and would put in more efforts to go tops in her class.
2. YOUR PARTNER WOULD BE HAPPY
Everyone wants to be appreciated, everyone wants to be told ‘job well done’; there is this sense of happiness that comes with being appreciated, and a happy relationship starts with a happy partner. If your partner is disgruntled, you would never have that happy relationship.
3. WOULD BE WILLING TO DO MORE
The great thing about being appreciative of your partner is the fact that you would even be the one to reap the benefits. Imagine a lady thanking her man for taking her out on a date, it would mean more dates, more gifts and loads of flowers. Imagine a man appreciating his lady for probably a wonderful meal or for being a loving partner —trust me when I say that lady would go the extra mile in being there for her man. In the end it’s usually a win-win situation
4. YOUR PARTNER WOULD FEEL LOVED
Appreciation is a huge sign of love, as far as it is sincere. It’s even better not to appreciate your partner than giving out an insincere appreciation. Appreciating your partner would make your partner feel loved and when your partner feels that love for what he/she has done then your relationship can only go one place from there—the top.
5. IT SHOWS YOU’RE OBSERVANT
On your part, being a partner that can be appreciative of what’s been done for you only shows the good qualities in you. It shows you are an observant partner, shows a mature side of you and as well shows someone who wants his/her relationship to move forward. The better part of it all is that your partner would notice these as well.
6. IT INCREASES THE BOND
The aforementioned reasons only goes to show one thing—being appreciative would increase the bond between you and your partner. When your partner is happy, you would as well be happy; when your partner feels that love, you would as well; and when your partner is willing to do more for your, the bond in your relationship would grow in leaps and bounds.

Like I mentioned earlier, appreciating your partner is a win-win situation, nobody becomes a loser in doing that. Don’t wait for your partner to bring down the skies for you, appreciate the little things that’s being done for you and your partner wouldn’t only bring down the skies for you but the stars as well—a relationship in the stars, now that’s romantic.

NOT FOR LAUGHS: 7 FUNNY THINGS GUYS DO AFTER A BREAKUP

Men also feel terrible after a bad breakup even though we act all stoics and put up a James Bond appearance after a bad breakup —deep down we feel terrible too and do some funny stuffs that would make us laugh years later. A study even found that men are more emotional than women, just that men are better at hiding their emotions.
Well, the guys have had their fun knowing the 7 things ladies do after a breakup, now it’s time for the ladies to live in the man’s world and know exactly how he feels after a breakup.
Put a smile on your face as I bring you seven funny things guys do after a breakup.

1. TELL HIS FRIENDS HE’S OKAY…WHEN HE ISN’T
It’s quite okay for a lady to cry and even cry when she’s with her friends, but it’s never okay for a man to cry and even to cry in front of his friends and it’s even more embarrassing to cry about a lady—it’s probably more like a guy code thing; because of this mentality guys try to act calm and assure their pals that they are doing good when deep down they are probably crying a river.
2. STARE AT HER PICTURES
Most guys still stare at the pictures of an ex after a bad breakup; you wouldn’t know he’s doing that; he wouldn’t let you see him. The funny thing about it is the mixed emotions that come with the picture and he may end up tearing the pic into pieces but he would still rather have his lady back.
3. FIGHT WITHIN HIMSELF NOT TO CALL HER BACK
This one is a surety that guys do after a breakup and this goes on to test how strong emotionally he really is. This emotion usually comes up probably a week after a breakup; he might get tempted to call her back and another mind within tells him it’s a dumb move; so many guys would give in and call her back while many would also resist the urge to, but the funny thing is the urge must come.
4. ALL GIRLS ARE THE SAME
The usual time men come up with this statement is probably after a bad breakup —she wasn’t the same when he was dating her and definitely before he started dating, but just after the breakup she’s just like the rest. We really are a funny bunch

5. FIND A FRIEND IN ALCOHOL
You want to know when a guy loves alcohol the most? It’s probably after a breakup; even guys who don’t take alcohol or who take very little alcohol sees the fun in alcohol just after that breakup. Alcohol just seems to be that friend indeed at such times.
6. STALK ON FACEBOOK
Almost everyone stalk on their ex on Facebook and guys aren’t left out. A study has even gone on to find that over 70 percent of people actually check their ex out on Facebook and I actually agree with this. Most blokes check their ex out on Facebook and still admire them when they see a new picture of them, even though we pretend not to.
7. TRIES TO IMPRESS OR MAKE HER JEALOUS 
Many guys do different things just to get their lady’s attention after a breakup; some show off with a new girl and just hopes it touches a nerve in her. The funny part is he isn’t getting that new girl because he actually likes her; he’s only using her to get back at his ex and make her miss him.

I’m quite sure must fellas have done one or more of these things after a bad breakup. Come on guys, what have you done after a breakup

5 SIGNS HE IS DATING YOU BECAUSE OF THE SEX AND NOTHING MORE

So ladies, you met this great dude and you have probably had some nights of amazing sex with him; you want more but something deep inside you tells you all this guy wants is sex and nothing more.
Below are 5 signs he is dating you because of the amazing sex he gets from you and nothing more
1. YOU DON’T KNOW HIS FRIENDS:
Men love showing off and they are always eager to show the woman they love to their pals so if you have probably dated him for months and he hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends, then you mean nothing to him and all he wants from you is just sex.
2. HE DOESN’T TAKE YOU OUT ON A DATE:
Can you remember the last time he took you out on a date? The answer is NO because he has never taken you out on a date before. If he is into you just for the sex, there would be no date nights; the normal routine would be you coming to his house probably very late at night and leaving early the next morning. He won’t take you out on a date because he doesn’t want to be seen with you.
3. HE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT HIS FUTURE PLANS WITH YOU:
When all he wants is sex, he doesn’t talk about his future plans with you because he knows you are not part of his future. When you talk about him not being committed, you hear replies like ‘I am not the relationship type’.
4. TOO MANY PROMISES TOO SOON:
It’s just been weeks or even days you met him and he promises you the moon and the stars. He just wants sex and nothing more. To keep the sex going, he keeps on promising more so you don’t leave. The chances of these gifts materialising are slim and if he wants to keep the sex coming from you, he might probably give you just 1% of the promises and keep you hoping for more.
5. HE ONLY CALLS YOU WHEN HE WANTS TO SEE YOU:
If all he loves about you is the sex you give him and nothing more, he would rarely call. He would only think of you when he wants sex from you and that’s when he would call. When a guy truly loves a woman, he wants to hear her talk always, when he all he loves about her is sex, then he would only call when he wants sex.

6 THINGS YOU JUST SHOULDN’T ALLOW IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

There are countless things one should never tolerate in a relationship, though many of these things are a lot easier said than done. Being humans, we’re complex species, and while we may know that we shouldn’t be with someone for some reason, sometimes, we stick around instead of just letting go and moving on. However, I believe we are all worthy beings, and no matter what, no one deserves to be treated with disrespect; so wherever you are, whatever you do, do not forget these list of things you shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship…

1. CHEATING

Of all the things not to tolerate in a relationship, cheating is an obvious one. Cheating should not be tolerated in a relationship for several reasons. One, if your partner is cheating, you don’t know what disease he (she) may be picking up from others, and these could jeopardize your own health. Also, cheating breaks trust, which is a major foundation of a healthy relationship. If you happen to feel, given your particular circumstances, that working through an incident is an option you want to explore, fine, but do not, by any means, tolerate perpetual cheating. A cheater is not worth your own well-being.

2. LYING/ SECRETS

In addition to cheating, perpetual lying should not be tolerated as trust is a key foundation in any relationship. A white lie here and there is not necessarily something to get worked up over, but if you catch your partner lying to you on a regular basis, it may be time to rethink your relationship with that person.

3. UNCONTROLLED TEMPERS

Anger is a natural human emotion. Everyone feels angry at times, but anger and an out-of-control temper are two drastically different concepts. If you find that your partner punches holes in walls (not  literally of course. Lol); takes his (her) anger out on you in an inappropriate manner, makes threats, breaks things, etc. This is not a healthy expression of anger and can lead to devastating consequences in your relationship. Do not tolerate this behaviour. Either insist that he (she) seek treatment options for his temper or drop him (her). Violence from women to men is rare, but that doesn’t mean it never happens

4. PHYSICAL OR SEXUAL ABUSE

Abuse of any form should not be tolerated in a relationship. Unfortunately, many people fail to recognize signs of domestic abuse for a number of reasons. You must first realize that no matter what, you never deserve to be abused. If your partner hits you, beats you, rapes you (and yes, this includes marital rape), or inflicts any sort of physical violence on you, try your best to get out of the situation. I know this is often easier said than done, but realize that not all men (and women) are like this, and that you are worthy of someone who will treat your body with some respect!

5. MENTAL OR EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Mental and emotional abuse are often even harder to detect than physical or sexual abuse. If your partner uses manipulation, threats, belittlement, or any other means of making you feel unsafe, insecure, or bad about yourself, this is most likely a form of abuse as well. Do not tolerate a partner who makes you feel unworthy. And remember, no matter what he (or she) says to knock you down, the shame is on him (or her), not on you.

6. HARM TO YOUR CHILDREN

If you find that your partner has in any way jeopardized the well-being of your children, get rid of him (or her) immediately. Whether they are his (or her) children or not, he (or she) must respect them as well as you. If your children ever say that they have been inappropriately touched, harmed physically, etc. by your partner, he (or she) must go. Never tolerate a man (or woman) who harms your children.

So there guys, 6 of the many things you should never have to put up with in your relationships. Please, feel free to add your own.

IS YOUR PARTNER UNROMANTIC? 6 WAYS YOU CAN HELP

I’ve heard so many people complain of their partner being so unromantic; dating an unromantic partner could be such a bore especially when you see other couples being affectionate in a romantic way.

However, I think it’s somewhat wrong complaining about a partner being unromantic because it wouldn’t do anything in changing that partner rather it would take the relationship to a whole new low and would kill the happiness in the relationship.
Albeit, the fact that your partner isn’t romantic doesn’t mean such a person can’t change—it all depends on you and how you handle the situation.

6 ways you can help a partner that isn’t romantic.
1. TALK ABOUT IT
You can always tell your partner in a loving and subtle way how to be romantic. Not everyone knows how to be romantic and it’s really no fault of theirs as what’s romantic to one person might not necessarily be to another. Tell your partner what you like and what appeals to you and be caring and loving in your approach and your partner would probably learn.

2. BE ROMANTIC, HE/SHE WOULD LEARN
You could even be unromantic yourself and could probably be killing your partner for committing the same crime as you. Action really speaks louder than words; be romantic to your partner and it would rub on him/her with time. Be romantic not because you only want your partner to become romantic, but be romantic to your partner because you care about your partner and you are an affectionate person—with this, your partner would even feel more blessed to have you and would try to return the gesture till he/she becomes accustomed to it.

3. APPRECIATE THE LITTLE YOUR PARTNER IS DOING
There is something about appreciation that opens doors for even more. When you appreciate the little romantic gestures your partner does, you are unknowingly tempting such a partner to do even more. Appreciation is hundred percent more effective than persuasion.

4. DON’T BE UNREALISTIC
This is one mistake people with unromantic partners continually make and this is probably the case because they have their eyes cast on another person’s relationship. Don’t make that mistake of comparing or envying another person’s relationship; you can never tell the true story no matter what, rather build your relationship to be better with each day. Don’t set unrealistic targets for your partner just because you want your partner to be romantic.

5. DON’T BE PUSHY  
This is also another important tip when trying to influence your partner to be romantic. If you notice I used the word ‘influence’ not change; you shouldn’t try to change your partner because that would be too pushy; influence your partner to being romantic and while doing that, be patient about it.
6. BEING ROMANTIC DOESN’T REALLY MEAN LOVE
You might have the most romantic man or woman in the world as your partner that can thrill you with all sorts of romantic gestures but that doesn’t mean you have a partner that loves you—your partner could be so unromantic but still love you passionately. Would you rather go for romance or love? If you really do have that partner that truly loves you, I think you shouldn’t kill yourself but rather follow these aforementioned tips and your partner could become even better.

5 COMPLIMENTS EVERY HUSBAND WANTS FROM A WIFE…MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE LAST

Do men really need compliments? That might be a question most women would ask after seeing the header. Your husband might act all strong on the outside and even pretend compliments don’t matter but the truth is deep inside he yearns for them.
Below are compliments every husband wishes to hear from his wife
1. LET HIM KNOW TIME SPENT WITH HIM IS THE BEST:
Every husband needs to know his efforts in trying to create time for his wife is appreciated by her. Yes he has to create out time for his wife from his busy schedule if the marriage has to work but it would be nice if you also appreciate his efforts. Let him know every time you spend alone with him is wonderful.
2. LET HIM KNOW YOU ARE PROUD TO HAVE HIM AS A HUSBAND:
Nothing excites a man than these words. Every man loves it when his wife is proud to have him as a husband. When was the last time you told your husband you are proud to have him as a husband?
3. LET HIM KNOW YOU LOVE HIS LOOKS:
Every husband needs to know his wife still finds him attractive. Whether you just got married to him or you have been married for years, knowing you still find him as attractive as the day you first met him would definitely excite him. When was the last time you appreciated his look? Don’t be selfish, he shouldn’t be the only one that has to appreciate your looks, learn to appreciate his looks too.
4. LET HIM KNOW HE IS THE BEST DAD YOUR KIDS COULD ASK FOR:
Your husband needs to know you appreciate his efforts in being a good dad. Every good husband wants to be the best dad in the world and your husband would also love it when you let him know his efforts in being the best dad is appreciated.
5. LET HIM KNOW YOU STILL ENJOY HOW HE MAKES YOU LAUGH:
I guess he made you laugh a lot before you married him; he needs to know he still makes you feel the same way. Don’t forget to tell him how you enjoy how he brightens your day with laughter.

So wives don’t just take all the compliments, learn to compliment your husbands too

10 THINGS EVERY MATURE RELATIONSHIP PARTNER KNOWS

Maturity is a quality that’s often lacking in many relationship partners; men/women that are even advanced in age fall prey to immaturity most times without knowing and this leads to the demise of most relationships.
There are some basic things a mature relationship partner knows and adheres to and that’s why such a partner is always adored. With maturity the relationship would blossom and a lack of it would lead to frequent scenes of violence, abuse, hurts, quarrels and rapid misunderstanding. If you want to know what the mature relationship partner knows, get in here.
10 things every mature relationship partner knows  
1. RETALIATION WON’T SOLVE A THING
‘Oh, sweet revenge’ you might say, but that’s a major cause of relationship failures. If Miss A does something bad to her partner and he decides to retaliate, where do you think the relationship would go from then onwards? A mature relationship partner knows that retaliating on your partner would only lead to enmity and rivalry; maturity isn’t in retaliation, but maturity is in letting things lie sometimes.
2. ENVY KILLS
Many partners (females especially) are rocked by envy, greed and constant comparisons of another person’s relationship. Once you base your relationship on another person’s relationship and constantly compare your partner to that person then you have completely succeeded in ruining your relationship. A mature relationship partner knows that though some relationship might look all loving on the outside, it could be a different story within, so they don’t indulge in childish comparisons and envy.
3. HAVING A LISTENING EAR IS THE FIRST STEP TO UNDERSTANDING
You can never understand your partner if you don’t listen to your partner. You cannot build that much desired level of understanding in the relationship if you don’t listen; there is a difference between hearing your partner and listening to your partner.
4. WORDS COULD REALLY HURT
There are some things you can’t take back, and words are one of those things. You should always scrutinize what comes out of your mouth as they go a long way in determining the success and failure of that relationship. A mature partner avoids words that would hurt a partner because a broken/failed relationship starts with the feeling of hurt.
5. THERE IS NO COMPROMISE ABOUT BEING FAITHFUL
There is no excuse really for cheating on a partner; it shows betrayal of trust, betrayal of feelings and insincerity. The fun derived from being faithful cannot be compared to the negative seeds it would plant in that relationship. You can’t call yourself a mature partner if you always cheat on your partner —that’s betrayal of the highest level.
6. BERATING YOUR PARTNER KILLS THE RELATIONSHIP; NO COMPROMISE 
I wonder why a person would go into a relationship and decide to constantly abuse his/her partner with words; verbal abuse is almost as terrible as physical abuse, it affects the mind. You show maturity when you value your partner and you value your partner in actions and in words. There is no compromising this.
7. MAKE YOUR PARTNER HAPPY 
A mature partner knows that the best way to having a happy relationship is by making your partner happy. When your partner is happy, you would as well be happy, put a smile on your partner’s face and you would as well be happy. A mature partner knows this, while the immature partner keeps waiting for his/her partner to make them happy. It should start with you.
8. THE RELATIONSHIP SHOULDN’T ALWAYS BE ABOUT YOU     
The relationship should never be about you; when you make the relationship about you, it shows selfishness and self-centeredness. A mature relationship partner knows that for a relationship to work, he/she has to think of the partner just as much as he/she thinks of himself, or even more.
9. SOME ARGUMENTS AREN’T WORTH IT
The immature partner would always meddle in every argument in a relationship but a mature partner knows that not every argument is worth it. The mature partner spots when the relationship is taking a bad twist and understands that if continued, it could harm the relationship— so the mature partner ends such arguments and doesn’t give arguments the chance to end the relationship.
10. KEEPS THE PASSION BURNING
A successful relationship is a passionate relationship; once the passion in the relationship starts to die off, the relationship would as well start to die off gradually. A mature partner understands this and makes sure the passion is always rekindled in the relationship.

Yes, you might come up with the popular and typical lazy man’s excuse that ‘no human is perfect’; forgetting that to be the best in everything you ought to strive towards perfection. To be a mature relationship partner isn’t a day’s job, you work hard to becoming such a partner with each passing day, and you can actually be that mature relationship partner if you put your heart to it.

5 SCIENTIFIC REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD KISS

A kiss is a touch or caress with the lips as a sign of love, sexual desire, or greeting. Kissing isn’t just a sign of love and affection; it also has some amazing benefits too.
If you haven’t kissed your partner today, here are 5 scientific reasons why you should kiss them now
1. IT LOWERS YOUR STRESS LEVELS:
Are you going through a lot of stress? If the answer is yes, then you should kiss your partner more. Kissing helps lower your stress levels and there is proof too. According to researchers from the Arizona State University, 52 people didn’t only feel close to their partners, they were significantly less stressed based on a psychological stress scale after spending 6 weeks making kissing a priority in their everyday lives.
2. IT PREVENTS CAVITIES:
If you love your teeth and you want to lower your chances of tooth decay, then you should kiss as kissing increases saliva flow, which helps prevent tooth decay. According to the Academy of General Dentistry, when you kiss, the saliva flow helps to increase the tooth enamel and also washes the bacteria off your teeth, which in turn helps break down oral plaque.
3. IT HELPS REDUCE BLOOD PRESSURE:
If you are experiencing high blood pressure, then you ought to kiss more. According to research, when you kiss, it dilates your blood vessels and therefore helps reduce blood pressure. Why don’t you reduce your blood pressure today by kissing?
4. IT HELPS STRENGTHENS YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM:
If you want to strengthen your immune system, then you should kiss more. According to a study published in Physiology & Behavior, kissing helps improve your resistance to having an allergic reaction. Isn’t this a good reason to kiss?
5. IT HELPS BURN CALORIES
If you need to burn some calories, then you should consider kissing your partner more. According to research, you burn between 2 to 5 calories every minute you spend kissing. So if you kiss for 30 minutes, you could burn up to 150 calories.
So if you thought kissing is all about getting ready for sex, then you are so wrong. Kissing also has some health benefits too. Why don’t you reap these benefits by kissing today?

THE CRAZY THINGS LOVE MAKES YOU DO

Most of us (maybe all of us) have been in this situation before where we did crazy things in the name of love.
Toke Makinwa talks about this issue and it’s a must watch for everyone who has ever fallen in love