Before now, men believed in marriage. More men understood the significance of the union, and what it means to have a person in your life with whom you can share your life, and raise a family with; but today, the story isn’t quite the same. More men are running away from marriage, and it’s alarming. Rather than get married, more men want to live the single life longer than is acceptable.
So what is really responsible for this growing new trend? Well, here’s what I think…
1. FEAR OF GIVING UP THEIR FREEDOM
A lot of men feel like getting married means they’re no longer in control of their lives. They believe that once you get married, you’ll have to submit to the whims of your ‘tyrannical bride’ in order to keep the marriage a happy one. So, In order to avoid this ‘loss of freedom’, they avoid marriage all together. They’d rather not marry in order to be able to come and go as they please, hang out at the clubs, engage in their hobbies, and just live their life the way they desire without having to be responsible to another person, but this thought pattern is only a result of immaturity and the lack of understanding of marriage because it doesn’t have to be like this. The only way this can be a reality is if you marry the wrong person—the kind of person that wants you to fit into their box instead of appreciating you for the person you are. More men need to understand that marriage isn’t a death sentence on their lives, but an opportunity to share it with a wonderful person if they do the right thing and select the right mate for them.
2. FEAR OF LOSING THEIR FRIENDS
I’ve heard some men say they don’t want to give up their lives, friends, and social life in exchange for their bride and family. You might think I’m kidding, but I’m serious. They act as if there is no way their new life of marriage can co-exist with their friends, but that isn’t true. Marriage and personal life can coexist…you just need to find a balance.
3. THE BELIEF IN THE MARRIAGE STEREOTYPES
You must be aware that there are men who believe all the stereotypes of marriage and want nothing to do with them. They are certain their wife is going to ‘nag them to death’ about any and everything. The wife is going to transform into a sexless being that is all about money, the kids, and whine. She is going to become a strict task master who only wants to see her own wishes done, and nothing more.
This belief is funny, because clearly, men who think like this are getting their information from non-married people or unhappily married men. These stereotypes are wrong and off base (depending on who you marry). I think it is most important to select the right person to marry and if you do, then you will live a wonderful married life. If not, you could become one of these bitter men walking around perpetuating these marriage stereotypes
4. FEAR OF COMMITMENT
This is true, most men have a classic fear of commitment; you know, that type most people talk about when it comes to marriage. Being with one person is something that seems unnatural to most men. They are afraid to be vulnerable and completely give themselves up for another person in addition to all the horror stories they are told about marriage.
I think this fear is a natural feeling all people experience. However, I think marriage can be an amazing experience if you’re with the right person. Of course, there’ll be rough patches, but being with the right person makes it all worth it. I don’t think there’s anything like coming home to that one person that knows you best and has a big smile on her face because she has been wanting to see you all day.
5. THE NIGHTMARISH FINANCIAL INVESTMENT THAT COMES WITH GETTING MARRIED
Women tend to dream about the fairy tale wedding, but men think about the nightmarish wedding expense(s). This is very true; men really don’t dream about the wedding day. It is all an expense to them. Besides, how many people do you know who have spent huge money on their wedding day and ended up divorced? TOO MANY! Men think about this constantly and find it to be foolish, but will do it if their bride insists.
Bottom line is; marriage is a beautiful thing. Life is worth sharing with a special person, and marriage offers you a platform to have that for the longer term. There’s nothing scary about marriage. Guys, find your special someone, get married, have kids, and grow old together!
And oh…Compliments of the season to all of you, our esteemed readers.
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